I have realized that since having a child, the passing of time has significantly more meaning in my life.  As in, “Please stop.  Please, time, I beg of you, stop moving so dang fast.  Let me have more time with this little nugget.”  Time doesn’t seem to care…and on occasion, I feel that she speeds up just to spite me.

So, despite my pleading, we are at the transition from summer to fall and that means the Fall, or Autumnal, Equinox is upon us this Saturday (9/22).  Thus, (I feel like I use “so” too often)…let’s get a little WooWoo and celebrate!!

Vocabulary lesson: “Equinox” means “equal night” in Latin.  Thus, (haha)  if you didn’t put it together, the fall equinox is when the length of your day and your night are said to be the same.  Why is this meaningful?  Well, this is a beautiful time to recognize the balance, or lack off balance, in your life.

• Are your work and personal lives balanced?
• Do you have a balanced diet?  Too many greens getting you down?
• Is your time balanced?  Do you give way too much to one area of your life while ignoring the other areas?  Do you often find yourself at the spa when you were supposed to pick up the kids from  camp?  Let me count the times…
• Is your spending in balance?  Do you spend all the extra spending money on the kids?  Nothing on you or your “non-child” relationship.  Truthfully you do need that spa day.
• What’s up with your thinking?  Do you have balanced thoughts?  Do you compliment yourself as much as you catch yourself berating yourself?  Berate may be a little heavy here but do you tell yourself crap that isn’t true?  Do you say, “Well, I’m being stupid?”  It’s not true.  Do you say, “I can’t believe I forgot that?”  Not true…I can totally believe why you forgot that ________, you’re busy and probably a little overly tired, and you had 14 other things simultaneously in motion when you “forgot.”  (Note: here I’d like you to have completely unbalanced thoughts…the more positives you give yourself the better.  As a matter of fact, take a break from this post and write down 5 things you are happy about right now…GO!)

You’re back…great.

Now, I also believe this time of year is perfect for letting go of the unwanted.  The trees lose their leaves; it is time for us to let some of our foliage drift off into the wind.  The air gets colder.  Perhaps now is the time to turn a cold shoulder on some of your bad habits or bad relationships.  Just saying…

So, if you were going to celebrate the Fall Equinox on Saturday at precisely 6:54 pm PT (or any time you’d like), then you may be wondering “where do I even start?”

Funny you should ask…I’d do something like this:

• Get a group of people together. (I often do women’s rituals but it is not mandatory)
• Ask each person to bring something to mark their space.  A favorite photo, a meaningful stone, a cherished crystal, any loved token.
• Opening and Honor: Open with a positive statement or prayer.  Perhaps say something about balance and why it’s important to you.  Ask the entities that you believe in to join you in positive celebration.  Something like this…
  • “This marks the beginning of our Fall 2018 Equinox Ritual.  We are blessed to have both the brightness of day and the shadow of night, the rising and the setting of the sun, the rise and fall of the tides, our joys and our sorrows, the cycles within both life and death.  In this moment, we honor our ability to experience the contrast of the dark and the light, for in this contrast, we clearly identify that which we want to manifest in our life.  We ask that mother earth and father sky, the angels of earth and the angels of heaven, our spirit guides, and dancing fairies, all universal beings of light and love, join us to celebrate this change of season and bring positive energy to our space and our wishes.”
• Giving of Thanks: Go around the room and have each person give thanks.  I always prepare my guests for this and ask them to bring a list if they want.
• Letting Go:  as I stated before, this is a powerful time to let go…release…give in to get more.  If you can have a bonfire, please do…and have each person burn what is holding them back…that which needs to be released.  (again, I ask my guests to prepare these statements ahead of time and write them on a piece of burnable paper).  If you can’t have a fire, perhaps light a candle and meditate on those items which you want to release.  Or, rip the papers into small bits and poor hot wax on them…again, be safe, follow any housing codes, and don’t call me if you light something on fire.  (We’re all adults here.  I recommend doing this in a safe environment…and always outside if possible.)  Get creative…you can take a red marker and scribble over your statements.  Or, write them on red paper…anything that feels good.  The whole point here is to let go of that which is holding you back from your glowing potential.
• Wishes: any transition of seasons is a glorious time to put wishes into the world for manifestation.  Go around the room and have each person state their wishes…I like to have each person say all of their wishes before moving on to the next person…keeps the energy focused on them.  At any point if someone doesn’t want to share, that is completely fine.  Honor their place and hold their space.  Give them a moment to read their wishes silently and then gently move to the next person.
• Tie a Bow on It:  End with a quiet meditation, a prayer, or read a paragraph that brings closure and peace.  This prayer is the Mabon Balance Prayer…adapt as you see fit:

Equal hours of light and darkness, we celebrate the balance of Mabon, and ask the gods to bless us.  For all that is bad, there is good.  For that which is despair, there is hope.  For the moments of pain, there are moments of love.  For all that falls, there is the chance to rise again.  May we find balance in our lives as we find it in our hearts.

• Closing: “This now concludes our Fall 2018 Equinox Ritual.  Let us Feast and Celebrate together.”
• Feast & Celebration: after every seasonal ritual should be a time of celebration.  Have each person bring a yummy dish to share.  Open the wine or spirits, honor the abundance of food, friends, joy, and laughter.  Breathe in the beauty of this world.

So there’s a little WooWoo for your weekend.

Enjoy!!

So I’m laying in the C-section recovery room, a bit delirious, a bit groggy, and totally shocked, trying to form words around whether or not the doctors kept my placenta when my husband seemingly out of the blue, says, “Whoa.  Check this out…

Birth Date: 12th

Time: 2:01

Weight: 2 lbs 1 oz

Length: 14.1 inches (1 and 2 + 2) – strangely they originally calculated her length at 12.1 inches (no freaking joke)

We had no idea at this point what would end up happen in this world with our daughter but this should have been a big ole fat WooWoo clue.  There was something a bit perplexing about her numbers.

Like, really…a whole heck of a lot of 1’s and 2’s. Five 2’s and four 1’s to be exact.

Recently, as in 6 days ago when I started this post, I decided to do a little research into numerology.  And get this: we’ve got more 1’s people.

Her Full Name or Destiny Number = 1

Her Life Path Number (based on her birth date) = 1

“Numerology 1: As the first of all numbers, 1’s symbolism is that of the Initiating Force, the Monad.  Number 1 is the keynote to uniting humankind with each other, Spirit Guides, the Gods, and the other realms.”

I actually had to read that a couple of times because it was really dense spiritually for me.  Knowing that her Life Path Number is to unite us…well, if you’ve ever met her…you’d probably say, “Well of course that’s her life path.”  She exudes this force that brings people together.  I watch her orchestrate happenings.  She energetically calls people into her space.  Strangers approach us to make comments about her eyes and her energy.  She certainly is a 1.

Here’s another quote from the same website (see below)…”Life Path 1 – Those who walk a Life Path with Number 1 have an inner zeal that pushes them to constantly climb towards goals others think unreachable.  1 gives birth to all other numbers.  Its energy is that of the Master Creator.”

In the Tarot, 1 is associated with The Magician card…”A mover and shaker, The Magician knows deep down they can change the world and truly make a difference.  Having The Magician vibrating with the energy of the Number 1 means that they can be fantastic facilitators for edgy new beginnings that nearly seem, well, magical!”

So now let me blow your mind a bit more…, I came upon this statement:

Many people assume that the day and time we were born determines our fate. Truth is the opposite – we determined when we would be born, before we were born, knowing deep in our soul the right mathematical day and time to come to this world. We determined our fate first and then the corresponding day and time. This determined our personal numerology including our life path number and destiny number.ª

Let’s really think about this…go with me for a second, or a minute.  She chose the life she lives.  Everything physically that makes her a bit atypical…well, she knew what she was getting into.  We all did.  We chose our life BEFORE we ever came in…if we determine “our fate first” then everything we are experiencing, every bit of the life we lead, was something we agreed to first.  I FREAKING LOVE THIS!!  It means no complaining.  It means that the life we are living is the very best life for us because I do believe we were a lot smarter before coming in and wouldn’t agree to something we couldn’t handle.

Now, you might not believe in fate (and I personally don’t like using that word…sounds way too permanent) but I do believe that we made a universal contract before we dropped into our beings.  We picked the things we wanted to experience.  I don’t think we picked every little detail which is why the word fate doesn’t sit well with me but, I do believe we pick our patterns.  We pick our parents and siblings.  We pick the overall themes of our life so that we can become better selves, more higher-evolved “cell-ves”.

So…she PICKED ME and I PICKED HER.  Period.  Sometimes it’s easy for me to forgot this (for example in music class on Friday when I started crying because I was feeling sorry for myself rather than her…just an example :-)).

I am so very blessed to have this magical (#1) lady in my life.  And…deep breath…before this whole thing even got started, we both knew what we were getting into.  Poor kid 😉

Note, I do plan on throwing this in her face when she is a bratty, smart talking tweener complaining about me…”Daughter of mine, you totally knew what you were getting into when you chose me.  Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.”  Ok, I won’t throw it in her face but I guarantee I’ll think it…and truth be told, it’ll probably slip out.

Oh, so I am going to just take it up another WooWoo notch…this MaMa is a Life Path 1 as well.  Yes…you read that right…this daughter actually paired herself up with a Mama 1.

Watch out world!!!!!!!  Here we come.

Loving our life…

Just in case you wanna go figure out your numbers…

https://www.buildingbeautifulsouls.com/symbols-meanings/numerology-meanings/numerology-1-life-path-number/

ªhttps://www.kasamba.com/numerology/numbers-meanings/

She's different.

I’ll be the first one to say, “My daughter is different.”  She’s different in the most beautiful way but at times it is really challenging being a mom to a child that doesn’t do everything the “other kids” do.  Strike that…she doesn’t do many of the things that the “other kids” do…she’s about a year behind.  Deep breath…hard to write, but it’s true.  And, my egoic self (that should be a word), along with self doubt, and that heaviness called comparison gets in the way of healthy perspective…it gets in the way of all of the gloriously good things she is doing.  It gets in the way of the honor I give her each day for working so darn hard for what she wants.  It gets in the way of knowing that she is a brilliant, freaking rock-star.

Comparison can be the death of you…or me, rather.  Comparison can be the death of me.  But, let’s be honest…we ALL COMPARE.   In the best possible ways we compare ourselves to others because it helps put perspective on our growth and our development.  Comparison, in a good way, allows us to pat ourselves on the back and honor the trans-formative steps we’ve taken.

“Hot damn…I look good this summer.  Tan and thin work well on me.”

“Ha ha.  Cleaned all the bathrooms and didn’t want to kill my husband.  Yes, Ma’am!!”

“Take that bills…my bank account is FULL.”

See, comparing this way feels good.  It’s the other comparing that breaks me.

If I compare when I’m feeling weak, it destroys me.  If I compare when I’m low on sleep, it brings me to tears.  If I compare to someone her own age, I hurt so much for her…and that ruins me.

I’ll be real…comparison, on most days, makes me feel pretty crappy because I am a “sleep-deprived (too selfish to sleep train), mother of a 2 year old who forgets to eat, doesn’t exercise enough, and tends to entertain more than is humanly healthy”.  So, these past 2 years when I compare this breath-taking creature I get to raise to other children from a developmental stand point, I feel like s***.

So…what’s the moral of the story?  Where’s the high ground, the ah-ha, the damn-right message?  Well, in the end, who the heck cares?  Who cares that she is atypical?  Really, who wants to be normal anyway?  Who cares that she’s taking her own sweet time doing the things she wants to do?  Truly, SHE DOES NOT CARE that she isn’t “keeping up with the Jones”.  She couldn’t give a rat’s arse (where did that phrase come from) that she’s smaller than the other kids or isn’t talking with them yet.  She loves watching them move around.  She loves intently listening to their sounds.  She’s figured out that in her stillness, they come to her.  And, news flash, the other kids aren’t comparing either.  They are attracted to her because she is who she is…a-typical and a-mazing.

My brother said something very profound to me 10 months ago.  He said, “She hasn’t read any of the child-development books.  She doesn’t know what she should or shouldn’t be doing.  She’s happy just where she is.”   And, like all of the doctors have said, “If she keeps progressing…all is well.”

Guess what…ALL IS PROGRESSING.  So, I am telling myself this…get out of your freaking head, mama.  Take a deep breath and fill your heart with love and respect and kindness and honor and admiration and joy.  Because if you don’t let go of some of this comparison-s*** it will be the death of the gorgeous, other-worldly spirit of your glowing daughter.

And as her mama, I never ever ever ever ever ever ever want to lessen her true nature, or destroy her inner being, or take anything away from that “oh my god she’s amazing” part of her.  So, today, I will once again pull up my big girl undies and…

EXPECT GOOD THINGS!!

Yes, ma’am…

This was supposed to be the 1st post…oh technology!!!

Where to even begin?

Truly, this is a question I’ve been asking for 2 years now…WHERE TO BEGIN?

A Flight to San Diego

I’d love to say it started on July 12, 2016 but that isn’t really the truth.  It started when we decided to have a baby.  And, much to my surprise (strike that…I actually kind of knew I’d have trouble getting preggers), we had to go down the IVF road.  Long story…perhaps I’ll write about that some day…but in the end, with one try, we had our little jumping bean growing inside of me.  Lucky…no. Blessed, yes. Blessed is a much better word for how we got pregnant so quickly and with what I was actually carrying.  I had no idea that my entire life, goals, mission, beliefs, relationships, knowledge, spirituality, love, patterns, habits…EVERYTHING would change with the birth of this gorgeous, teal-blue-eyed wonder.  Oh once again, let’s strike that…my life began to change, and my beliefs began to change, the day I took a flight to San Diego.

I was delayed out of SFO and normally I stay in the AmericanExpress lounge as long as humanly possible…to drink, truthfully!  But, alas, I was preggers so being in the lounge was just another reminder that I couldn’t drink.  And, I was sick as a freaking dog…so being around the food and the smells wasn’t so fun either.  Anyhoots, I decided to leave the lounge early…little did I know that this would be a decision that would change my life…and our life forever.

I sat down at the gate across from a lovely looking woman and began a conversation (not hard for me even while nauseous).  Find out she’s a medical intuitive.  I said, “Well, I think I know what that is…but how do you describe yourself.”  (I figured that was completely safe…I wouldn’t sound like an idiot if I was completely wrong…).  Anyhoots, she kinda supported my beliefs.  She is able to put her hands on someone and give them guidance on their medication condition.  So, she wouldn’t exactly say, “You have cancer.”…she’d say, “I think you should go have your colon checked out.”  So, she’d get what I call “hits” on things that the body was asking for.  We can talk more about this later.

Anyhoots…I ask her if she ever “does babies”.  She says, “Yes.”  (pause) I ask if she ever does “in utero babies”.  She kinda shrugs and says, “Yes, I’ve done that a few times.”  I didn’t ask.  Oh, I was SO curious…but I did not ask.  About 5 minutes later she stands up, walks over to me, and says, “Ok.”

Weird but I knew exactly what she was referring to so I push my very small, 4 month bump, up a bit and she places a hand on my tummy.

Within seconds she jerks her hand away and hollers, “It’s a girl!!!”  I must have had a very weird look on my face because she then says, “You didn’t know…(pause with a furrowed brow)…but you did know.”  And, I slowly nod…yes, I did know…but I didn’t know.  I didn’t know for sure.  No doctor confirmation but, yes…I intuitively knew.  Cue up the WooWoo.  🙂  It was the first time I had complete confirmation on some of my own “hits.”

We had a nice chat, exchanged phone numbers, and boarded our flight to San Diego.  Quickly before take off, I sen off a text thanking her for her knowledge and for giving me a confirmation I had been looking for.  It was a lovely gift.  🙂

The next morning, I receive this message,” Your child is a healer.”  What?  WooWoo.  She says that she had been suffering from extreme jetlag when she touched my tummy and realized on the plane that ALL of her symptoms were gone, vanished.  In fact, she felt fantastic.  And, she wanted me to know that the healing came from this fiery spirit inside of me.

Ok…something to process before you go off to work.

I write back quickly that this is all very interesting but that I felt sicker than I had ever felt on that plane ride.  Thought I was going to toss my cookies all over the seats and passengers.  Literally…”please God get me off this plane…please God.”

I come to find out that this lovely “sickness” was because my daughter sent me a big ole whopping rush of energy that rocked my world…but healed the medical intuitive.  Lucky for her…crap for me.  In effect, I was her conduit.

What a beautiful thing to be though…when you slow down long enough to process it.  I was a channel for my daughter’s power while she was inside my womb.  Looking back, I wish I had known more about how to help her while she was inside…perhaps she would have stayed longer.

Anyhoots, that is the beginning of WooWooLife.  And let me tell you, it absolutely continues to get more WooWoo…and more WooWoo…and more WooWoo.  I am SO blessed.  🙂

Smiles,

The Mama

She wanted to join the party early!!

“You’re going to have your baby today,” said the doctor.

“No, I’m flying to LA today,” said The Mama-To-Be.

“Well, I can’t keep you from getting on the plane, but I cannot guarantee your baby will be alive when you land.”

“What?”  “What?”  Shock…Deep breath.  Tears.  More tears.  “Then I guess we should stay here.”

We went straight to the “birthing check-in place” (we were so new to this we didn’t even know what to call it) and checked in.  The wonderful nurses put me straight into a room and hooked me up to monitors.  Told the Daddy-To-Be to go get a quick bite to eat and bring in her “bag that was supposed to be going to LA” and then come back.  We won’t be going into surgery for a few hours.

The Mama-To-Be waits…and breathes…and cries.  And cries a bit more…

My thoughts were every which way…

“Oh…I need to book my mom a flight today…she needs to be here today.  I want my mom here TODAY.  I really want my mom here NOW.  But she’s in Iowa, she can’t be here now.  But I want her heeeeeeerrrrrrreeeeeee.”

More tears.

“Where is my husband?  Why isn’t he back yet?”

“I don’t want to do this…I’m not ready.  We’re not ready.  How can this be happening? Oh crap, I need to go cancel the LA flights. My god what is happening?”

The doctor strolls in and checks the monitors.  “Oh my…you’re going to have the baby right now.”

“NO, NO NO…where is my husband?”

I didn’t have my phone because you’re not supposed to bring your phone into the Maternal Fetal Medicine Doctor’s office because he doesn’t allow them.  And, I didn’t exactly know I was going to be having a freaking baby today.

“My gosh darn stinking husband should have been back by now.  What?  Did he go sit down at a freaking restaurant?”

I must have looked very ill because one of the amazing nurses let me borrow her cell phone which I promptly used to speed dial/stalk my husband for 15 minutes.  Dial, voice mail, hang up.  Dial, voice mail, hang up.  Dial, voice mail…”Where the hell are you?  They said I am having this baby now.  Where are you?  I need you…where are you?”  Tears followed by more tears.

Then, flip-flop.  Flip-flop.  Flip-flop.  “Oh thank you, thank you!!”  Those were the sounds I needed to hear.  My husband was casually walking down the hall…”Flip-flop, flip-flop.”  Little did he know the storm he was walking into.  🙂

“Why haven’t you been answering your phone?”  Tears.  “We’re having the baby now!”   The answer…because you’re not supposed to have your phone on in the hospital or the doctor’s office…remember!!!  Ugh.

To make this long story, just a bit longer, they threw a gown at him, got me prepped for an emergency c-section, and away we went to have our baby.

No, no, no…that’s not how it happened at all…when I think back.  They brought in a pediatric surgical neurologist (or someone like that) who would be assisting with the delivery and warned us that our baby may look like a bird and that they truly had no idea how much she would weigh.  They didn’t know if she’d be breathing and all of these other horrible things you never want to hear before you have an emergency c-section to rescue your baby from your body.

All I knew was that this baby needed out and “it” needed out now.  (remember, I knew “it” was a girl but the doctors hadn’t ever confirmed this)

So, I’ll fast-forward a bit…there was a lot of talking, waiting, where’s my husband, waiting, waiting, epidural (ugh…that SO did not fit with my freaking birthing plan…heck, none of this fit my ideal, flowering, loving, energy-focused, essential oils, wonderful music, meditative, birthing plan).  Then, it all happened really fast…something happened, because the entire room went into ER mode…I think I almost passed out and finally my husband was holding my hand and 30 seconds later our daughter was out.

And, the most beautiful sound I ever heard was her cry…that beautiful, gorgeous, clear, cry.  She was alive.

She was out, she was breathing, and she was gorgeous.  And, she was little…but since we were expecting a baby bird, my husband said to me, “She’s huge.”  We still laugh about that…she was so stinking little.  2 pounds 1 ounce little…but she was our’s and her amazing self would change our life forever!!!

Love ya…

The Mama