Parenting Through the Morning Meltdown

School drop-off is at 8:00.
The drive takes 10 minutes.
It’s currently 7:50.

And there she is—your gorgeous, fiercely independent 9-year-old…
Still in her pajamas. Still eating breakfast. Still at the kitchen counter.

You know what’s coming…
She’s going to be late. Again.

Then…the Spiral Starts.

“I should’ve gotten her up earlier. I should’ve gotten me up earlier. Why can’t I get her to move faster? What is wrong? What is wrong with me? The school must think I’m a mess. Why can’t we ever just get it together?”

“At this rate, I’m going to miss my 9:00 meeting. We’ve got to get moving. This morning is a total $#@!-show.”

And then…

Well—I know what happens in my house.
I snap. I grab her plate.

“I don’t care if you’re not done. We have to go.”

“Brush your teeth. Get dressed. We’re going to be late. We’ve gotta go now. Pleeeeease, hurry up. For the love of Gawwwwwwd!”

My voice climbs into a pitch I’m not proud of.
Her energy skyrockets in response—huffing, puffing, slamming, crying.

And as the energy goes up, my heart sinks.
This isn’t how I wanted the morning to go.
This isn’t how I wanted to start our day.
This isn’t the mom I want to be.

I’m not proud to admit it.

But we’ve had more than one of these mornings.
Please—tell me you’ve been there too?

When I reflect back (after the coffee kicks in and the chaos has settled), I ask myself: What tools do I have to make mornings more connected instead of chaotic?

Two tools come to mind:
🧠 Emotional Intelligence
🔮 Intuition

Emotional Intelligence: A Quick Definition

The Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence defines Emotional Intelligence (EI) as:

“The ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings, to discriminate among them, and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions.”

In simpler terms, EI is the ability to pause in the middle of big emotions—and still think clearly and act wisely.

The Ability Model (Salovey and Mayer) of EI asks us to consider:

Can I think clearly in an emotionally charged situation?
How do intense emotions impact my actions?
How do my child’s emotions impact my own?

But in the moment, let’s be real—I’m not asking myself those questions. Not at 7:50 a.m. when the hair is a mess and one shoe is nowhere to be found.

However, at any moment, we can hit the emotional reset button. Do a body scan: take a deep breath, ground, feel where the emotions are in your body. Are you able to reframe your words and use a different tone?

Getting back into a positive frame of mind and emotional state, allows you to better control the emotions that are coming to the surface. You can be more in control of how your emotions are impacting your connection. And watch…your child might respond in kind.

So what about the 2nd Tool…Intuition?

Intuition, as understood by Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra, and Thích Nhất Hạnh, “is a quiet, inner knowing that arises without logic or reasoning. It does not arrive through analysis or intellect, but through presence and awareness. It acts as an internal compass—subtle, yet powerful—guiding your next step.”

Taking a pause and calming our mind, we more easily access our inner knowing. Which allows us to better handle the 7:50 am rush. However, what this really means is that before our feet even hit the floor at 6:50 am…we have to connect with our clairs and ask some key questions about where we are energetically and what we expect for the day ahead.

· Clairsentience (Feeling): What’s my emotional state?

· Clairaudience (Hearing): What’s the tone of my inner voice?

· Clairvoyance (Seeing): Am I picturing a disaster before it even begins?

· Claircognizance (Knowing): Do I have an inkling about the day ahead?

Just three minutes of an intentional check in—with yourself and your energy—can radically shift the entire morning.

When we pause, connect, and listen inwardly—we parent more from love than from urgency.

And then mornings…start to look a little different.

Can you relate?

Would this 3-minute intuitive check-in help you on your parenting journey?

Kate’s Personal Perspective

In our home, we practice emotional awareness daily. For example, I ask my son to imagine how others might feel. It’s important to help him grow the skill of empathy. I believe empathy is the key in shaping a more heart-centered world.

Intuition is an undercurrent in our home. We explore our dreams, pause to feel instead of pushing through, and make space for nature, creativity, music, and even conversations about the unseen. These small practices are the values that keep us present, open, and connected.

Jen’s Personal Perspective

So…our house is a little different than Kate’s. I have a magical, incredible, and verbalish daughter. When it comes to expressing frustration, sadness, or disappointment, words fail her. That’s why my intuition has to lead in our household. I can’t rely on hearing what she wants to express. I have to let my clairs guide me to be the best mom I can be for her.

Note: ChatGPT gave us the mash up definition of intuition from Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra, and Thích Nhất Hạnh

To learn more about Jen and Kate, visit www.ClairsMagic.com

“Take a Deep Breath” the Message of Amazonite

Today a new crystal, I don’t ever remember being on my desk, was sitting on my desk. It may have been here this entire time, but I don’t remember it. It is beautiful.

I picked up this beautiful Teal-Green crystal with small streaks of orange and tan and felt it. I really felt it in my hand…its edges, curves, soft rounded points, and cool temperature. I let her stay in my hand for quite a while, resting, breathing. As she reminded me to rest and breathe.

She is Amazonite.

Gemstagram writes:

Amazonite is known for its healing and calming properties and is believed to have a calming effect on the emotions, promoting peace and harmony.
Amazonite is known to be a soothing stone that helps to bring emotional clarity and balance. It can also be used to support clear communication and aid in the understanding of one’s own feelings.
Amazonite is a powerful stone of communication, providing protection and balance. It has been known to encourage one to express their true feelings and to speak their mind. It can also help to reduce stress, block out negative energy, and encourage positive emotions

Before even reading about her, she gave me her message.

Relax.

Find Balance.

Feel.

Breathe.

Is there something unique in your world today that is trying to speak to you? Are you open enough to hear the message or are you too busy rushing? I am often too busy rushing. Moving. Doing rather than being. It is a large part of the world we live in.

Today, however, take pause and find what unique thing is there…and has probably been there since the beginning…that has a sweet message just for you.

Savor the message.

I’m SO frustrated!

Why is it so damn hard to get support for our children?

Why do I need to be an expert in ALL things? Seriously, advocating is one thing but being my daughter’s private tutor. I’m not sure I can do it.

So, here’s what happened…we’ve had our end of school IEPs. Yes, we needed to have 2 because we spend too much time talking. And, I’m not bothered by that in the slightest. Both Alex and I care tremendously about Teal’s schooling, supports, etc. We ask a lot of questions and want to know the reasoning behind goals and benchmarks. It takes time. I’m very happy our school is willing to understand Teal’s needs while being supportive of our process to get there.

During the IEP review process, you know when you go back and really read the IEP again to make sure everything that was committed to for the previous year has been met in terms of services, I saw some discrepancies in what Teal was getting in terms of services and what her IEP seemed to state. So, I began questioning how much 1-on-1 time Teal was actually getting with her teacher. In previous meetings, the entire staff told us how much better Teal learns when receiving 1-on-1 instruction. And, I thought, we had gotten a commitment from her teacher and support staff that she would be receiving this extra assistance in 2nd grade.

However, in my review of her IEP for 2nd grade, I couldn’t seem to find the commitment in writing on the IEP. What? We completely missed that they didn’t include that verbiage for her 2nd grade IEP. Yes…WHAT THE F?

1st off, that’s on me and Teal’s dad. Completely. That is not the school’s fault. However, they told us verbally they’d be providing small group and 1-on-1 instructional time for Teal. But, in the IEP, they just wrote small group. Yeap. We missed it.

Looking back on Teal’s education this year, she’s falling behind. More than just a little behind…the gap between her 1st grade peers was significantly smaller than the gap between her 2nd grade peers. Why, dare I ask, do you think that is? Hmmmm….anything to do with the fact that every day in 1st grade she had 20-30 minutes of 1-on-1 instruction with her teacher? Ya think? Damn it all to hell. I’m so darn mad.

Fast forward to our meeting yesterday to establish service minutes…the school can’t “give her 1-on-1 instruction if the teacher is already providing that instruction to other students.” The teacher cannot duplicate instruction time. Really?

And, the kicker…they won’t add it back in. I pressed. I said I was extremely disappointed and wouldn’t be signing the IEP. I got quite heated as a matter of fact. I didn’t yell…but man they knew I was mad!

So, major lesson learned!

Fast forward to today (I think I wrote this initial rampage 6 weeks ago)…

I didn’t post it because I knew posting something when you’re really mad can often lead to not-so-great outcomes. Anyhoots, I didn’t sign the IEP. However, I did do some research and I did throw the staff’s words back at them. I sent a strategic email referencing the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) that ensures students with a disability are provided with a Free Appropriate Public Education (FAPE) that is tailored to their individual needs. I stressed “appropriate” and “tailored.” I sited numerous conversations where the entire support team for Teal said she learned best with 1-on-1 teaching. I copied everyone under the sun. I had had enough. I was making sure that everyone in the district knew that this Mama Bear was NOT going to take this type of treatment for their child. Nope. Not me.

I sent it…and then, I waited!

And waited.

And then, my phone rang. The supervisor and the department head were on the phone and they wanted to talk. We had an open and honest (and nice) conversation. Concessions were made. I don’t think Teal will get all of the 1-on-1 time she needs or I requested, but we are going to meet again before school starts to look at scheduling for her and her teachers.

And, I’ve learned I need to be a better tutor here at home. If she’s not going to get everything, I feel she needs at school, then I need to step up our game. (next post on how the heck to do that…because she’s always so tired after school…she’s usually just done!)

In the end, my mom was right. When I called her in a huge tiff after the 1st IEP, she said things always seem to work out for Teal. She told me to wait. She told me to have confidence. In the end, she really told me to wait for the magic of Teal to do its work.

And, she was right. Teal’s magic brought what could have been a legal battle of parents against school…to a place of genuine conversation and support!

Thanks, Teal! More later..

XO- Jen

Oh, if you have a story to share or want to brainstorm solutions, let me know. I’m at jen@forourspecialkids.com. And if you have a moment, check out my podcast: For Our Special Kids! It’s on all listening platforms.

Becoming her Mom

#2: The most beautiful sound…

I reread this post from over 6 years ago. I’m so happy I took time to write down this memory. As I read it, I cried. I cried quite a bit as it brought back so many memories, emotions, and the visceral experience flooded my body.

I remember being so terrified.

I remember feeling ALL ALONE.

I remember not seeing her. Alex told me she was beautiful. Alex said she was huge. Alex was the first one to see her.

I remember his agony. “Who do I go with?” For the 1^st time since marrying me, he had to choose. Do I go with my daughter to the NICU or do I go with my wife to post-op?

I remember saying, “Go with her! I am fine. Go with her.”

Then, I don’t remember.

I don’t remember what happened between him leaving and my waking up in the recovery room. I don’t remember being stitched up. I don’t remember being transported. I don’t remember the first moments of being a mom.

I don’t remember holding her and welcoming her into this world…because I didn’t.

I don’t remember letting her feel my skin and hear my voice…because she didn’t.

I don’t remember looking into my husband’s eyes as we basked in the glow of our new baby girl…because I didn’t.

I woke up and Alex was there holding my hand. And, I do remember telling him to go back to be with our daughter. I suppose it was the beginning of always giving everything to your child. “Go with her” I said again. “Be with her. She needs you.”

He stayed with me for a while but then, as he should, he went back to be with our daughter.

I don’t remember being transferred to my room. I don’t remember a lot of those first few hours.

However, I do remember feeling along again. But, this time, the alone feeling was from not having my Teal inside me. For the 1^st time in nine months, she wasn’t with me. And, at the same time, I didn’t fully comprehend that I was a mom. It was a very confusing time.

I remember looking down at my smaller stomach and feeling very confused. Torn. Lonely. Alone. I wasn’t a mom yet. That’s what I remember feeling. She is gone, but I’m not a mom yet. She is of this world, but I am not a mom yet.

I didn’t get to see her for over 8 hours. Our NICU, for whatever reason, won’t let mom’s visit their children until they can walk on their own into the facility. I am highly sensitive to any form of drug and thus, couldn’t actually feel my legs or pelvis for a very long time. Eight hours long. It was pure agony.

However, there are moments I remember that I know have impacted our family positively. Alex was the first one to learn about her. How to “handle” her, how to not “handle” her. He told me how small her diaper was and that he learned about the bag she was in for warmth. He taught me how to wash my hands before going into the NICU. He walked me to where she was. And, for a woman who is often in charge and giving the commands, I know that those sweet moments he had with Teal before I arrived helped to shape their bond from day 1. And for that, I am forever grateful.

I will always remember holding her for the first time.

I will always remember being so shocked by how small she was on my chest.

I will always remember her heat.

I will always remember looking into her sweet, beautiful face with utter amazement and pure joy.

I will always remember smelling her.

I will always remember hearing her tiny breath.

I will always remember lightly touching her dark brown curls.

I will always remember asking her what she wanted to be called.

And, I will always remember when I became a mom, Teal’s mom.

Jen

I release…

Do you see a healer? Not a medical-Western-doctor type healer but an energy healer? Someone who does things you can’t explain but gives you answers that don’t need to be explained? Finding these people to interact with your energy, your spirit, your soul, or perhaps of your child, isn’t as simple as Google searching…”Energy healer in my area.” It takes word of mouth, referrals, personal experiences, confidence in friends. That is how I found Nick Mallett.

I was interviewing Kelley Coleman, author of Everything No One Tells You About Parenting a Disabled Child, for an upcoming podcast and at the end we moved our chat into energy healers, intuition, woo-woo, etc. She says, “Oh you need to meet Nick.”

After our recording, she sends me a name and number of a man that doesn’t advertise…to my knowledge. I don’t think he has a website. When we talk, I don’t even get specifics as to what he’ll do. All good…this is why you take advice and referrals from friends. Trust.

When we connect on the phone, I find out he doesn’t really make appointments. Now, for an appointment girl like me, this was probably the most challenging part. I couldn’t plan my schedule around him? He said something to the effect of, “I just go with the flow most days and I do whatever feels good.” Now, right there is a good lesson for me whether or not I ever connected with him for an energy healing. Go with the flow! The astrological year of 2024 would really vibe with that sentiment. Let go of control!

So, what do I do…I mark my calendar (ha) to call him at 9:11 PT which is 11:11 CT Monday to see if he was free for a healing. Note the angel number of 11:11.

I eventually hook up with him on the phone and he basically dives right in. He asks me to stand up, drink some water, get comfortable, relax my knees and then starts energetically scanning my body over the phone. Or at least that’s what I thought he was doing. Alas, I just went with the flow.

About 3 seconds into my body scan, he starts giving me phrases to say. I was instructed to say them outload, 3x. Each statement started with “I release all _______ and _______ releases me.” After which he would give me an verbal “knod” and then I would hear light language affirming what my body was releasing.

Here were some examples:

“I release all guilt and guilt releases me.” x3

“I release all remorse and remorse releases me.” x3

“I release all toxicity and toxicity releases me.” x3

“I release all inflammation and inflammation releases me.” x3

“I release all banishment and banishment releases me.” x3

“I release all grief and grief releases me.” x3

Many of these statements caught in my throat. The grief statement made me cry. Actually, many of them made me cry.

Grief, Guilt, Remorse, Comparison, Judgment…

The curious part about making these statements 3x was that by the time I got to the 3rd statement, I could feel my body and my emotions release. My voice changed as well. By the 3rd time, I bought in. I could feel “it” going away. I could feel “it” releasing.

I had no idea I was holding on to so much emotion, so much sadness. But as I made the statements, I honored them. I honored the emotion. And, I found myself being kinder to myself with each statement. Acknowledging that we carry negativity inside ourselves is a good thing. Acknowledging that life isn’t always grand…is a good thing. Being truthful and honest with ourselves gives us the freedom to release it.

The next morning during meditation I found myself making some statements again. Things that perhaps crept back in during the day prior.

What do you need to release? What needs to release its hold on you?

Take a moment and sit with these questions. Be kind as the answers come in. And make your own statements 3x. Feel what happens.

Jen

UPDATE: I spoke with Nick before publishing this blog.

What he does is called Quantum Energy Healing!
He checked in with me the day after to see how Teal and I were doing (I neglected to mention that he worked on both of us. I suppose that’s another post). Turns out we were (and still are 2 days later) both quite sick. This, I know from other healings, is quite normal as your body processes and releases that which needs to be freed. The really wonderful part is that he did a few things energetically to help Teal and me because…because it’s the nicest thing to do. Made me feel like we were important…not just clients. And, that is something you don’t always see these days.
He also may be working on a place to put his testimonials. I’ll be writing one for sure…maybe he’ll even link this post to his website?
Thanks, Nick…if you read this!

I felt special. I felt important.

I have never in 48 years taken a trip with no other purpose than connecting with myself. Yes, I have gone to classes and spent nights away from my family. I’ve had plenty of work trips that took me across the pond for a few nights. And, I even spent one extra night by myself in Hawaii…but let’s be honest, I was recuperating from my husband’s 50th birthday party where I pretty much managed everyone and everything. (don’t tell the guests that or Alex because he’d say he did a lot and everyone helped…but let’s be honest an entire house of rotating guests for 8 days was EXHAUSTING and NOT in the least bit relaxing for me!) I digress.

This week, however, I reserved a little cabin in the woods for 2 nights of me time.

As I drove out of Tahoe City, towards Sierraville (only an hour away), I felt giddy. I felt anxious and a bit nervous. I felt happy and content. I felt calm. I felt a few layers gently roll off my shoulders and I could breathe a touch easier.

When I arrived at my adorable little cozy cabin in the woods, I felt special. I felt special. And, as I type this now, I actually get a bit weepy. What exactly does “special” mean in this context…well, I felt important. I felt my needs take the front seat. And, that realization was peaceful and healing. Even before I “did” anything, I knew that I was putting myself, my needs, my desires, and my feelings at the forefront of my mind. No one else to think about. No one else to be more important.

I unpacked slowly. Saged the space. Lit the fire. Set up my diffuser. Made a cup of tea.

I put on a warm coat and grabbed my mug. I walked a ways along the stream through the woods. The magical gurgling of the crisp water made my ears happy. It had so much to say. I sat next to it and meditated for a long time.

The bear energy came to me. A strong energy that wanted me to honor its place on the land. It reminded me to take the time to hibernate and let ideas grow. The bear reminded me that growth takes time. I hadn’t been giving myself time. Yes, I give many others time, but I hadn’t given myself the grace of time to grow and foster and tend to those things that fed my soul, my creativity, my light.

I tried to honor the bear this weekend. I honored the bear within myself. We use the phrase “Mama Bear” frequently on this journey of parenting. Do we give ourselves the protective, nurturing, mothering love the bear gives her cubs? Do we give ourselves the protective, nurturing, mothering love we give our children? Do you?

Today, if you can, think of something that needs your Mama Bear energy! Something for YOU! And, then, gracefully, allow that need to hibernate and get warm and grow.

Jen

I have my limits too!

This morning, I had a BAD morning.

Last night, I had a BAD night.

Here’s the situation, I am single parenting this week…and next week, as Alex is in London for a conference and then will do another week of meetings with companies. It’s a good thing for him. It’s a good thing for his business. It’s a good thing for us as a family. It is NOT a good thing for me personally. I do not like single parenting. Period.

My patience for Teal goes out the window when I am single parenting. I think it comes down to the fact that I know there is no outlet. There is no one to wave the proverbial white flag at. There is no release. No one to tag out with. No one to ease the pressure when my stress goes up and my patience goes down. Now, this is the interesting part of this story, I can’t remember the last time I waved the white surrender flag when Alex was here. I seriously cannot remember the last time I needed to tag out of my time with Teal. But, when Alex leaves, it’s like I lose my safety net. I lose the option…I can’t get the help if I needed it. That’s what gets me. I don’t have a lifeline.

Why can’t I handle everything when I don’t have my partner for back up? Well, I guess it comes down to knowing that I have the out when he’s here. Knowing that I have someone that’s got my back.

You see, I yelled at Teal this morning. I actually dropped the F-bomb. I did not say, FY (as Elon would say) but I did say, “This is not f-ing acceptable behavior.” Yeap, I said it. And, wow…did I feel like crap. I knew I had lost the battle between patience and freakout.

She had had a terrible night the evening prior with lots of hitting, lots of crying, not listening and just being bratty. Note, my patience was thin.

This morning started out great. I was so happy with myself. I woke her up with smiles, we snuggled, I was peaceful and intentionally positive and patient. Until…well, I got smacked one too many times. She was crying because she didn’t want to take off her pjs to put on her school clothes. And she smacked me one too many times. I just lost my shit. I stood up, yelled the above statement, and then turned on my heel and left the room. I needed to breathe. I needed to find a moment to compose myself. I needed to fall down on the bed and cry (which I did not do), I needed someone to step in and tell me it was alright and that I needed some me time (which did not happen). I needed someone to take care of me!

And then three amazing things happened:

As I was getting Teal into her car seat, she opened her arms up and waited for me. She waited for me to step in and get a hug. Yes, my 7 year old had the wisdom that her mom needed a hug. I stepped in to get my hug and she gently patted me on the back. I had to hold back the tears. I told her I was very sorry for yelling and that it wasn’t ok to hit. Just like it wasn’t ok to yell. I stepped away and she opened her arms again. She knew I needed someone to care for me. And, I got another hug. Yes, again, my daughter comforted me. (Don’t even begin talking with me about the guilt or tell me that my child shouldn’t bear that weight! Don’t…)
As I was walking away from school drop off, I ran into a father of a child on the spectrum. And, I said, “Does (insert child’s name) hit?” His dad said, “No.” And I almost burst into tears. However, he did tell me all sorts of other things I needed to hear. He let me tell my story of how horrible I had been and how horrible I still felt. He let me talk and he listened. In his own way, he took care of me. And, he gave me a hug too.
During one of my spiritual readings today, my sitter said, “It’s good for our children to know that ‘I have my limits too.'” Whoa. I wrote it down it had so much impact. I have limits too.

So, yes, I’m still beating myself up and I’ll be sure to tell Teal again how sorry I am for my behavior but I also know that “I have my limits too.” And today, I was pushed over the edge into a bit of a mom rage moment!

Sigh…thanks for listening. And, I hope you know it’s ok to say that you have your limits too!

Jen

If you’d like more information about mom rage, listen to these 2 episodes on For Our Special Kids:

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1889469/13797566

https://www.buzzsprout.com/1889469/13830153

5 Steps to Connect Telepathically with Your Child

When do you connect with your child? When is easiest? When is it hardest? How do you connect with them?

First and foremost, the hardest time for me to connect with Teal is when she is hurting or extremely frustrated. Normally this is when her, and my, emotions are running high. In addition to the elevated emotions, I often get a physical response from Teal. She may swat or shake or kick. You all have experienced it. And in those moments, it is so hard to determine exactly what they need. My discernment is very low during this time.

I so desperately wish she could talk…to tell me what she needs. I hear myself saying, “Just show me what’s wrong.” And, I often hear myself saying back, “I’m sorry I don’t understand. I don’t know what you need.”

That’s your cue! When you hear yourself saying that to your child, take note. Pause, breathe and implement this very quick process.

Ground. Feel yourself on the ground. Whatever part of you is touching the floor, acknowledge it and feel it more. Connect to something stable.
Open your crown chakra. Connect to the higher realms of energy. Open your crown and reach up with your energy. You may feel the top of your head get lighter. You may direct violet or golden light out of the top of your head into the heavens. Know that you are connecting with higher answers.
See a gorgeous light blue color surrounding your throat and awaken your energy there. Know that you can communicate and you can hear what is needed.
Finally, open your heart. Reach your heart energy into your child’s heart energy. See the light connecting you both. Then, reach energetic open palms out to their heart energy.
Now listen and feel.

This process should be quick…60 seconds or less.

Now, if nothing happens at first, please do not despair. This, like any new skill, takes time to develop. The neural pathways need to be built and strengthened. It is important to practice when the stress and emotion is not high. Practice when you don’t need the answer, when your child isn’t hurting or frustrated.

One way to begin building this “muscle memory” is by practicing after you put your child to bed at night. Just go through the process in your mind and imagine it working. Imagine it being easy. Imagine the energetic packets of information coming from your child into you. It will happen. And, the more you practice when the need is low, the easier it will be when the need is high.

Crystals and Essential Oils can enhance your intuition and connection.

You also may consider holding a crystal or using an essential oil to enhance your practice.

Crystals to consider include blue stones for communication. I love angelite for a spiritual connection with enhanced communication. While the experts don’t list this one as a good stone for telepathy, I find it perfect. It’s peaceful and healing and gentle. When I think about connecting with Teal, those are the feelings I want. It also helps you to connect with your angel team…and I believe that Teal’s higher self is part of my angel team. So, this is a win-win for me. Other blue stones to consider are lapis lazuli or kyanite. Rose quartz is all about love. Opening our heart is a must when communicating with our non-verbal children. Pink opal is also wonderful for enhancing your motherly connection. Clear quartz and amethyst are wonderful for boosting your intuitive connection and help with the crown chakra.

Essential oils to consider might include the InTune blend from dōTERRA^®. I put this directly on my 3^rd eye. Use rose oil for its extremely high vibration. To use our energy to communicate, our vibration must be high. Rose can help elevate you.

You may try the tree oils as they will help with grounding. If you feel too much stress, the tree oils can do wonders to lower the stress and get you connected with yourself before reaching out to another. Frankincense is another incredibly powerful oil for self-love and overall healing. I love frankincense for all things spiritual…heck, I just love frankincense for all things! Peppermint and lemon can awaken your mind and help with clarity. Sage, clary sage, and rosemary are wonderful for wisdom and remembering. All so important when connecting with your child!

Remember, the next time you hear yourself saying, “I’m sorry, honey. Mommy just doesn’t understand what you want.” Put the above steps into play and believe that you can easily connect with your baby!

My love,

Jen

If you’d like more information, please contact me at jen@ForOurSpecialKids.com. You can also visit http:/www.mydoterra.com/jenniferlansink to learn more about oils, add to your collection, and get fun recipes.

Having Balance

In my class with Maureen Burford, we are currently working on our 2nd chakra. This is what Ellen Tadd refers to as the Identity Chakra. This chakra focuses on many things but the area I want to discuss today is balance. In her books, Ellen describes how this chakra supports action and pausing, movement and stillness, pushing and pulling, stimulation and support, masculine and feminine, growing and planting, talking and listening.

I realized when reading these chapters that it is our job as parents to support both of these sides. The receptive and the expressive sides of our children need to be nurtured.

For example, when I was a child, I was told by my parents and teachers quite often to stop talking. This does not shock anyone who has read my posts over the years or who has listened to me yammer on the podcast. However, these words did impact me quite negatively. I found myself not speaking up for myself when I needed to which then resulted in me pushing too much at inappropriate times. This happened frequently with my parents…outbursts, slamming doors, tears.

As I look at this chakra and then the concepts of yin and yang (that’s basically what Ellen is getting at), it is so important to look at the opposite of what your child is doing and use that as a starting point to influence behavior and support growth. My parents and teachers could have said, “Jen, listen more.” Rather than “stop talking”…see the difference, feel the difference? It is so much more instructive and I can feel a younger version of me learning in that situation not feeling shamed.

So, how does this relate to Teal and your child? Let’s list out the things we want to see more of in our child. If I want her to talk more, what is the opposite of talking? What is the yin to the yang? Talking…listening. So, I am going to positively support her for listening. I might say, “Teal, I am so impressed with how well you are listening to me right now.” And then a few minutes later, I may ask her to also use her voice. Describing the sometimes it’s important to listen and sometimes it’s important to speak and express yourself.

Another example, I want her to stop swinging her arms when she’s frustrated. This often leads to hitting or smacking me or others and may be a problem in the future. So, what is the opposite of swinging her arms? Stillness in frustration. I hope in the future to say something like, “Teal, I really love how still your body is right now when I know you are frustrated with ______________.” And then, after a few minutes I might honor when she uses her body to express herself in a positive way…like pointing, using signs, etc.

This is a work in progress for me but I thought I’d share with you some ways I am hoping to positively impact the world my daughter lives in.

Next post will be on the balance of spiritual therapies and physical therapies! Stay tuned.

Opening Your Crown Chakra in the Morning

I am currently in a class with Maureen Burford from Creative Lives called Foundations 1. We meet each Tuesday via Zoom to discuss the assigned chapters in two books by Ellen Tadd: The Wisdom of the Chakras and A Framework for Wise Education. This is like a graduate level class…we have mandatory writing each week. And since I’m writing for Maureen, I thought I’d share my thoughts with you.

My primary focus over the past week with Teal was to be more aware of my crown chakra (7th) to then be open to her crown chakra (7th).

When I slowed down throughout the day to feel my crown chakra, I noticed that mornings were a tough time for me to feel open and inspired. The stress of the morning, the schedule, the time constraints, the lack of control over a 7-year-old all contributed to a closed chakra.

Then, I remembered that inspirational music is a great way to “pop the crown” open. Alex had played “Thunder” by Imagine Dragons one morning in place of my standard Mozart…much to my dismay. However, when looking back on that experience, I felt lighter, more free, bouncy, and energized. So, there I was asking Alexa to play “Thunder.” And I immediately began bouncing up and down, dancing around the kitchen feeling the top of my head lift off. Success!

I also want to be more aware of Teal’s crown chakra. So, after taking my time this morning to meditate and automatic write, which opens my crown and sets me on a great path for the day, I went upstairs to wake up Teal. That’s when I realized I had a chance to help Teal open her crown before she even got out of bed.

For whatever reason this morning, Teal was very groggy. Slow to get up and certainly not her normal smiley self at 7 am. She wanted to cuddle longer than normal and wouldn’t get out of bed when I asked her. Now, I normally would have just picked her up out of bed and said frankly, “We gotta get going, Teal.” I would have taken control and forced her to get out of bed and start her day.

However, today, I realized I had a choice in helping her to start her day from a better place. When she asked me to cuddle. I cuddled. I did a few things with the comforter that I know she loves and makes her smile. I slowly tickled my fingers up her body to help wake her up. I held her with no intention other than to feel her sweet body against mine softly breathing. And that’s when I felt her smile. I felt her begin to wake up her crown and find joy in the morning.

Such an easy way to let go of control to give her a better morning.

And, to take it a step further, when I put on Thunder this morning, she asked me telepathically to put Mozart back on. I find this very interesting. Her Crown must like Mozart better than Imagine Dragons. I’m glad I was present enough with her to hear her message.